In my new novel "Boss
Girl" women take over a television network and turn it into a huge ratings
success. Therefore, the men listen to them. Especially since they're talking
about sex.
But in real life the old
complaint of "men don't listen" is based partly on fact. I say
"partly" because in reality, guys are very selective about what they
hear. So as a public service I'm going
to illustrate how you can get the guy in your life to pay attention and ease
your concerns that you may be in a serious relationship with a garden tool.
First, you must fully
understand the care and feeding of men in recliners, so you'll need a few
examples, as there are "degrees" of not listening. (All of which
feature the one-size-fits-all response of "that's nice.")
- The
husband-tuning-out-wife-bobblehead, which is the garden variety version of not
listening:
Wife (talking to husband in
recliner): "I got these cool black shoes for fifty percent off!"
Husband (nodding):
"That's nice."
In this case the man is not
listening because he doesn't understand his wife's source of excitement.
Besides, the man was not born with the shoe chromosome so he cannot
differentiate the new black shoes from the other 17 pairs of black shoes in the
closet.
- The totally oblivious
husband. Common version of husband completely tuning out wife while watching
sports:
Wife (realizing he's not
listening): "I was abducted by aliens today during lunch hour. They took
me up on the mother ship. We swung by Jupiter."
Husband: "That's nice.
Did you remember to pick up beer?"
So, by now you've realized
guys simply filter out the stuff they don't care about, don't understand, or
anything that might interrupt the game. Except for...
Sex? Now you're talkin'.
Let's turn the time machine
back to the eighties when I was a TV reporter in a newsroom with a lot of
single women. They talked about their weekend escapades in great detail every
Monday morning. The guys realized this was useful stuff, a peek into the
woman's playbook, so we developed the talent of looking like we weren't
listening when we were actually hanging on every word. We'd bang out gibberish
on the typewriter and appear totally focused while taking in details that would
make 50 Shades look like Nancy Drew.
This went on for quite
awhile until we finally got busted.
Female reporter at next
desk: "And then the next morning..." She stops and notices a male
reporter is smiling. "You're listening
to us!"
Male reporter (pretending
she interrupted his train of thought): "I'm sorry, what?"
"I saw that look on
your face! You were listening!"
The guy points at his
typewriter. "I'm working on a story."
She gets up, walks to his
desk and looks at the paper in the typewriter.
Now he's turning red.
"Why are you listening
to us?"
"How are we supposed to
not listen to stuff like that?"
"Oh, now you men listen."
See, we can't win. We get
flak if we don't listen, then get chastised when we do.
Anyway, you gals should be
able to develop a strategy to get your significant other to listen. Take some
of the sexy stuff you've read in romance novels, throw a bit into any comment,
and trust me, he'll put down the remote.
That's nice, huh?
Like what you read? Why not treat yourself to Nic's new novel, Boss Girl which will be out on Feb 20th!
Love the blog post, Nic! Can't wait to read your next story!! Good luck with the tour. I'll be stalking...er...seeing you!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Nic!
ReplyDelete