Hi, lovely readers! Today is my blog stop for the Take Mum Out blog tour and I've got a very special surprise for you! You get to read a little teaser from Take Mum Out! Here's the first chapter for you!
Chapter One
Inspection Day
Inspection Day
'So you're setting up a meringue business,' Erica says as I show her into my kitchen.
'That's right,' I reply. 'I've been testing different recipes and I'm all ready to go – as soon as I have official permission, of course.' I'm aware of this thing I do – of putting on an oddly posh, grown-up voice when I'm in the company of an Official Person. In her navy blue trouser suit, with her shiny auburn hair swinging around her pointy chin, Erica falls into this category. She is an inspector from the council's environmental health department. Her job is to ensure that I don't poison the public – i.e. that my fridge isn't seething with listeria or my cooking quarters populated by mangy cats. They aren't, of course, but still, Erica's very presence is making me nervous. It's like when you're being followed by a police car while driving. Is something broken on my car? you start wondering. Could the wine I guzzled two nights ago still be swilling around in my bloodstream?
'I love meringues,' Erica enthuses, peering into my fridge which I've scrubbed so thoroughly, even its light seems to shine more brightly. 'It's the texture, isn't it? The crunchiness on the outside, the gooey bit in the middle…'
'That's right,' I agree. 'I imagine it's impossible to feel depressed when you're biting into a meringue.'
She laughs politely and marks a few boxes on the form attached to her clipboard. I try to sneak a look, but can't read it. Anyway, I must stop feeling so paranoid. I spent the whole of yesterday preparing for her visit, and so far it seems to be going well. Erica caresses my cooker hob and ticks another box on her form. 'D'you have a name for your business?' she asks.
'Yes, I'm calling it Sugar Mummy.'
'Oh, that's cute. That definitely has a ring to it. I assume you have children then?'
'Yes, two sons.'
'That's right,' I reply. 'I've been testing different recipes and I'm all ready to go – as soon as I have official permission, of course.' I'm aware of this thing I do – of putting on an oddly posh, grown-up voice when I'm in the company of an Official Person. In her navy blue trouser suit, with her shiny auburn hair swinging around her pointy chin, Erica falls into this category. She is an inspector from the council's environmental health department. Her job is to ensure that I don't poison the public – i.e. that my fridge isn't seething with listeria or my cooking quarters populated by mangy cats. They aren't, of course, but still, Erica's very presence is making me nervous. It's like when you're being followed by a police car while driving. Is something broken on my car? you start wondering. Could the wine I guzzled two nights ago still be swilling around in my bloodstream?
'I love meringues,' Erica enthuses, peering into my fridge which I've scrubbed so thoroughly, even its light seems to shine more brightly. 'It's the texture, isn't it? The crunchiness on the outside, the gooey bit in the middle…'
'That's right,' I agree. 'I imagine it's impossible to feel depressed when you're biting into a meringue.'
She laughs politely and marks a few boxes on the form attached to her clipboard. I try to sneak a look, but can't read it. Anyway, I must stop feeling so paranoid. I spent the whole of yesterday preparing for her visit, and so far it seems to be going well. Erica caresses my cooker hob and ticks another box on her form. 'D'you have a name for your business?' she asks.
'Yes, I'm calling it Sugar Mummy.'
'Oh, that's cute. That definitely has a ring to it. I assume you have children then?'
'Yes, two sons.'
What do you think? Sounds good, doesn't it? Get Take Mum Out on Kindle now for only 99p! Click here to be directed to Amazon :)
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